Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
