We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i think i just lost a toe
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
