It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
