he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize