my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
