absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
