you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
