He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
