Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize