Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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