if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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