I just cut my nipple shaving
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize