We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
