before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
