Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
