I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
