Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
