random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize