i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
