What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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