Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
worst night to have a conscience
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
