before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
