We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
