He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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