I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
