I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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