So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
