i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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