nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
