did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
