i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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