I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
