my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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