soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
