I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
