i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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