Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize