i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
