saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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