PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
