38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
