Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
