she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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