glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
