So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
