What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
