i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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