my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize