This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
