She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
