Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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