I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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