in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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