yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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