What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
