Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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