ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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