No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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