Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
